Making any kind of lifestyle change can be mega difficult, whether it's exercise, diet or something else like smoking. It is NICE if someone else has your back, and it CAN make it a lot more fun if that person is on the same journey as you.
Thing is, some of us don't have anyone who is in our corner.... and in actual fact, we can end up with some of our closest folk being pretty resistant to what we are trying to achieve. People feel like they are being criticised if we say that the way we live isn't right for us anymore. They are in their comfort zone and are not ready to change. By us being ready to change, they feel we are saying that we think we want better for ourselves, better than what they have.... so they feel like we are saying they are wrong. No-one likes to feel wrong.
On the flip side, starting a new project with a sidekick can be just as detrimental. What if the sidekick reaches for the cigarettes? Will we feel like if they have caved then we will too? What if they decide they don't want to go to classes that night? Will we decide to join them in the pub because now we have been given permission to let things slide?
Firstly, it is always good to warn those around us that there will be some changes. We cannot expect people to change their whole mindset overnight. It is not fair of us. If we give them some warning and we reinforce what we have said, they have time to adjust. I have clients whose family have been really resistant to their new exercise regime.... but 6 months later are asking them for advice on how they can get fitter. When this happens, we don't have to be smug, we can just share what we know and give them the pat on the back that they deserve.
Secondly, if we start a project with another person, we should always seek to find external ways of supporting our own journey.... and make sure that we are fully invested for ourselves. If we think about what WE stand to gain as an individual and the value that that change will bring us, we are more likely to stay motivated. With this in mind, it could help if we brainstormed all the reasons why we want to do something, and what we want to get from it.
For example, most people start a nutritional change because they want to look different. But whilst that is one thing they will get from the journey, it is just the tip of the iceberg. If we take that one thing, appearance and we expand on it, we will see a lot more that that one tiny thing may trigger.... increased confidence, feeling sexy again, improved sex life with partner, not being nervous about changing in a group changing room, falling in love with ourselves again, appreciating our own body, not saying negative things about the way we look in front of our children etc etc
Take something like lifting weights - we probably start because we want to look better (the majority of folks start out with aesthetic goals) BUT we get way more than that..... we become stronger, we feel more successful, we feel more confident in our ability to do physical tasks, we then feel more confident in our ability to do EVERYTHING, we are proud of ourselves, we speak about ourselves positively, we therefore give other people around us permission to speak about themselves positively, other people feel more confident, other people feel inspired by us to give themselves more love..... etc etc
It is GREAT to have someone in your corner, but that may not come from someone at home... surrounding yourself with like-minded folk, even if via the internet, will help keep you focused on all the shizzle above when you need a bit of a lift.
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Anna Martin
Personal Trainer, Group Ex Geek and general lover of everything fitness!
Master Trainer, Choreographer and Presenter for Clubbercise
Creator of Always Moving Forward Instructor Site
Websites
www.amf.world
www.clubbercise.com